Andy the Civil Servant

I don't like music. At least not as much as you do. Or that person next to you. Or the next 100 people you meet in all probability. I don't dislike it. I appreciate it's power, it's ability to enhance the human experience and the creativity required to compose and perform. But I don't "get it" as others seem to. I can't play an instrument I can't sing, and no matter how many people attempt to explain to me how one goes about creating a piece of music I lack the simple basic comprehension of the raw tools needed. It's a foreign language I can never hope to learn or understand. I accept this, and so when people talk music, I take a step back and accept that I am, unquestionably, the dumbest guy in the room and the best way I can enhance the conversation around me is to keep my fool mouth shut.

And so why, I hear you ask, (politely admittedly but with an air of mildly- irritated and rapidly-waning interest), why, are you on here, flapping your gums?

The answer to this is that My Desert Island Discs is different. The focus, as I see it, is not on bashing people over the head with your knowledge and coolness, but on sharing what music means to you. What songs have marked and shaped your life. It's the story of my life, with a soundtrack far more complex and clever than I could ever be. And from that perspective I can get as involved as anyone.

1) Sittin' On The Dock Of The Bay by Otis Redding
I've decided to do this chronologically in terms of life influence, just because it's the way that makes most sense to me. I did think about beginning with the first record I bought but that didn't actually mean anything to me, I just wanted to buy a record because my friends had started buying them. And also I'd have to endure hearing Nick Berry's "Every Loser Wins" and nobody least of all me, wants that...

I've started with the first song I remember making a genuine connection with. My parents only choice of radio station was the deservedly-maligned Radio Norfolk, which is the basis of Alan Partridge's radio station, and the gags about the gardening and farming segment taking longer than any musical items are unerringly accurate. As such, any music played was at least 20 years old. Thankfully however, it meant that the occasional nugget of genius such as Dock of the Bay filtered through.

I remember feeling transported as the sounds of the surf prefaced those first, simple bass notes, and instantly feeling like I was at the beach on a quiet day with nobody bothering me. And I remember feeling a certainty that this music was, and always would be, MY type of music.

The fact that it went on to feature in Top Gun made it even cooler to my teenage mind, and as I grew up and caught up on Otis Redding's back catalogue it's still his stand-out track for me.

2) Brazen 'Weep' by Skunk Anansie
My teenage angst effort. It was the perfect song for me at the time because I used (and still use) passive aggression when confronted or under attack. So when teachers, parents or peers were giving me grief I stonewalled and gave them nothing. Skin screaming "I didn't notice when you strengthened like a vice, that you were trembling and burned beneath the ice" was how I felt. "Why don't you weep when I hurt you, why don't you weep, when I cut you, you don't bleed, and the anger, builds up inside" was how I was making them feel. How I was getting under their skin. Lyrically exquisite.

3) Give Me A Little More Time by Gabrielle
I only have to hear the first two seconds of this track and I relax and smile. The bass is cool, the pace is confidently slow and Gabrielle sounds fantastic. It's a song that swaggers into any room feeling comfortable in it's own skin, which for my 17 year old self was everything I wanted to be.

4) Need Your Love So Bad by Fleetwood Mac
Fleetwood Mac were never a band I would have listened to at the time, but Need Your Love So Bad featured on a compilation of Soul and Motown I had bought just before leaving for college. I instantly loved, as with the previous song, the drawn out tempo and the effortless guitar solo's. Overall however, my overwhelming impression was that this was sexy. As sexy as my virgin self could know anyway. I was determined that when I finally sealed the deal with a woman (any woman, any at all, pulse negotiable...) that would be the song I'd slip on as she was slipping things off. As it turns out, Blur's Song 2 on fast forward would have been more apt, but I still think this is one of the best (and virtually unknown) Giggidy Giggidy Goo songs of all time.

5) Ex-Factor by Lauryn Hill
My in-the-car, window-down, one-hand-on-the-wheel, look-how-cool-I-am-ladies song when I was at college. Did it work? Did it fuck. However, in terms of my musical development, I was finding my style more and more and Lauryn Hill's album is one of my favourite of all time. It's a story of growing up and finding her place in life and every lyric is carefully and thoughtfully considered.

6) I Wish I Knew How It Would Feel To Be Free by Nina Simone
Better known as the instrumental to Barry Norman's Film 91 or whatever the year was at the time, Nina Simone's ode to repression touches on themes of slavery, feminism, race and non-conformity. Whilst forceful in it's message the music itself is understated and at times demure which only serves to emphasise the message more. Nina Simone is my favourite artist and I simply couldn't do a list like this without including her. When I discovered her work it marked a musical watershed and my tastes became infinitely more mature.

7) American Pie by Don McLean
Whilst at college I came back to Norwich in the holidays and worked at the cinema which was far and away the best job I've ever had. Not exactly taxing, but good fun, and made great friends with people my own age, some of whom I still see now 15 years later. We'd often sing whilst we were cleaning screens or just generally messing around between showings and American Pie just stuck. We'd even play games trying to quote the song whilst talking to customers, and when we went to do karaoke it was always the group song. Great memories of a happy time in my life.

8) Smile by Nat King Cole
When I was first diagnosed with depression I didn't know which end was up. Nothing made it better, not pills, not counselling, not hour after hour of soul-searching. What I needed most of all, was to get back to normal, asap. But how could I do that with unpredictable panic attacks making me look like a nutter during normal everyday conversations? Smile is a song I associate with that time. In many ways it's the antithesis of my feelings because of all the cliche's about depression that are trotted out by the ignorant. "Just cheer up a bit", and "Try not to think about it" are the most infuriating. However the message of the song is that you can put up a front to the world today, and maybe one day eventually you'll find your way. That's what I needed at the time. I found my front and was able to get back to, what appeared to the world as, normality. The song itself is beautiful. Simple, poignant, and with Nat King Cole's iconic, rich tone caressing every word.

9) Make You Feel My Love by Adele
This was the song my wife walked down the aisle to and the one that I associate with her and my children. The lyrics state exactly how I feel about them all and I'm not going to bang on about it any more than that.

10) Read All About It by Emeli Sande
I'm a sucker for a piano-based ballad and this is just lovely. In terms of how it relates to me, I'm a writer, or at least I was and should be again. I've let laziness and excuses deter me for far too long and I use the lyrics here as a kick up my procrastinating arse. Whereas the rest of my song selections come from my past, this one, hopefully, refers to my future.